Unico
by lunaexorcist-13
Summary: While returning from a trip with Viktor, Yuuri makes a mistake while on the road resulting in an intense panic attack. Viktor attempts to talk him down. Panic attack warning, angst, light romantic implications, and a frustrated Yuuri.


I listened to "Unico" by Wednesday Campanella while writing this, give it a listen.

...

"Are you sure? I can drive the rest of the way."

"No it's fine. I got it, really."

Yuuri had given him a small smile of reassurance then. If only he could feel that reassured now.

They'd been driving for about an hour and Viktor should have said something, he noticed the way Yuuri's shoulders were getting tense and how he'd let out a small but audible gasp when a car beside him did something unexpected.

All it took was a large red truck speeding up from behind trying to get in front of them and another car veering alittle close on their other side to pull the last straw.

"Ah!" Yuuri released a startled gasp.

"Yuuri? It's okay just slow down, okay."

He didn't slow down.

"Yuuri." He tried to keep his tone even.

It appeared he couldn't hear him, too caught up in his own thoughts. His expression was pained, his eyes wide with shock and he started hyperventilating.

"Yuuri. Yuuri! Pull over! Pull over now!"

He wasn't listening, the truck began squeezing pass trying to get through and it seemed Yuuri's foot was anchored on the gas. They were speeding so fast, they were moments away from slamming into the car suddenly in front of them.

"YUURI!"

At this point he had released the wheel completely and Viktor leaned over as fast as he could to take it and began getting them over to the farthest lane.

"Breaks Yuuri!"

It took him a mintue. He hesitated but slammed the breaks a bit too hard. Viktor leaned back. He was still panting, his eyes squeezed shut. He put his hands on the wheel to ground himself. It didn't seem to work.

He sat tense with his shoulders hunched up to his ears and his knuckles went white with his harsh grip on the steering wheel. Silence stretched on.

"Yuuri, Yuuri-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" He slammed his fists on the wheel repeatedly and shouted through grit teeth, "I know! I know!" He released a noise that was somewhere between a roar, a growl, and sob.

Viktor just sighed and looked down at his lap and waited for him to calm down. Once the car was still again he chanced a glance at the other. He was starring at his lap, his face twisted in anger that seemed to be directed at himself but his grip on the wheel relaxed. He slowly sank forward and put his head on the wheel.

Viktor opened his mouth to speak but was taken back when Yuuri's shoulders started shaking slightly and though he hid his face he heard the painful sob that he tried so hard to keep down escape him.

He looked so terribly small, trying to fold in on himself, looking at him hurt. He froze. He kicked himself at not knowing what to do. It was like his brain didn't know how to react to the situation (as with most events dealing with intense feelings). Comfort didn't seem the right option and scolding was definitely out of the question since Yuuri had done quite a number beating himself up emotionally. He should really say something. He opened and close his mouth again searching for words when Yuuri spoke instead, his voice muffled by his posture.

"God. I can't do anything right, huh?" He said and Viktor could taste the bitterness of his tone. He released a self deprecating laugh that almost sounded like another sob.

"Why am I like this. Why can't I just function like a normal person." He seemed to be talking more to himself now.

"Yuuri... It's okay, you didn't mean to-"

"I almost killed us."

He finally turned slightly to aim a brown eye up at him from his forward slouch.

"Alright. Yes, you panicked. You couldn't help it. It was just your natural response to-"

"That doesn't make it ok. At a party with too many people fine, before a competition sure, not while on the high way."

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. That's all I'm saying. You have a knack for being hard in yourself."

Maybe that was too much?

He waited gauging Yuuri's expression. It was blank for moment, then thoughtful and he sat up at last and ran a stressed hand through his hair, pushing it back.

"No. I don't think I'm hard on myself. I mean I don't try to be. To myself I feel I'm just being truthful. But... I can see what you mean... kind of."

He looked away out the window at the continued bustle of the road.

His eyes looked really lovely then.

He wiped away his remaining tears and Viktor spoke again,

"I... I can't say I know what you're going through or that I know what that feels like when... that happens but I just want you to know that I'm always here if you want to talk or cry or... I know I'm not the best at this," he smiled and saw the corner of Yuuri's mouth go up just a little, "but I'll always try. And-and I'm sorry I started yelling. That probably didn't help the situation." He rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"No. You had every right to panic. You had every right to be scared and you...you handled it just fine. If you hadn't took over who knows what would have happened."

"Has that happened before when driving?"

"It hasn't. That's why I'm so frustrated." He paused seeming to weigh whether he should say what he wants to say next. "It's just... really hard. It affects my everyday life and it's not like I've ever gotten proffessional help. I'd feel weak in doing so like I can't even manage this on my own. I tried once to talk to someone and they suggested medication."

"Do you think that might help?"

"I dont know... It's just in Japan things are different. People don't talk about such things."

"It's not too late, Yuuri."

He looked at Viktor in confusion.

"You can try again... to get help... or not. I'd help you through whatever you choose."

"As my coach."

Viktor gave a half hearted shrug and a smile,

"Or just as a person that cares about you."

He looked over and even in the dark could tell he was blushing.

"I think... I want to try that then." He sat back finally looking completely relaxed and the redness of his eyes from crying seemed to subside. He couldn't help but be reminded how terribly beautiful Yuuri was and not just by the way he looked as he gazed off emotionally sated. The way he could experience his emotions so passionately and so thoroughly was truly beautiful. His glass heart shined brightly at moments like this.

"Soo... I'm guessing you should drive us the rest of the way, you know if you aren't too tired."

"I should be fine." He smiled wide at him. Yuuri just stared back for a while before smiling briefly and adjusting his glasses. He swung the door open and began walking to the other side. Viktor scooted himself over till he was in the other seat.

Yuuri got in the passenger seat and put on his seat belt. They began to drive again. Viktor drove with one hand on the wheel and one resting between them. They'd been driving for half an hour when he felt the warmth of another hand over his own and he couldn't help the gasp that came from him. He looked over and saw Yuuri relaxed in his seat starring out the window and his cheeks weren't aflame like he expected them to be.

He wanted more of this if for a while longer. He wanted Yuuri to keep opening up to him.

He wanted Yuuri to keep surprising him.


End file.
